Are you trying to keep the Lust Alive? Learn to jump the shark and avoid the sexual fade that kills many relationships.Working at Keeping the lust alive takes time and patience. However, it may not always work. Sometimes the person that you are in love with, is already lusting after someone else. Find out. Call the Michigan Domestic Investigators at Eye Spy.
Usually when a person in love is asked to express how they’re feeling, you’ll hear things like,”I feel butterflies in my stomach” or “my heart is going to burst out of my chest because it’s beating so hard.”
Are You Keeping The Lust Alive?
When you are in love the body produces a love potion. The brain releases many chemicals and hormones that induce the feeling of love. Among these chemicals are dopamine, oxytocin, adrenaline, and vasopressin. In addition, newly found love also sparks in areas of the brain associated with euphoria-inducing drugs-suggesting love as a feeling akin to using cocaine.
When you first fall for someone, who could talk about nothing else. You will ask your friends if this person is attracted to you too. Did that look mean something special? Should you call them or not? You cannot think of anything else. When this person does not call you, your mood plummets. When you see them, you are walking on clouds. Does this sound familiar to you?
What Happens when you fall in love?
A person takes on a special meaning for you: The world has a new center
Maybe you ignore what you don’t like about the other person and focus on what you do like.
Do you have intense energy (intense elation and great despair)?
Are you becoming sexually possessive about them?
You feel an intense craving for the other person
You’re highly motivated: you want this person
You’re obsessed and think about this person all day.
It’s like an addiction: there is activity in a lot of brain areas, especially in the area in which one feels the rush of cocaine.
Keeping The Lust Alive: Has the Sex Died?: The Brain Chemical That Can Kill Libido in Long-Term Relationships
Trying to sustain a long-term relationship that is also sexual presents humans with a chemical catch-22.
Studies on the length of relationships have shown that couples in harmonious, stable and trusting long-term relationships have higher blood levels of oxytocin (a chemical that regulates attachment, promotes cooperation and facilitates sensations of joy and love) than people who are not in compatible relationships. These happy couples also reap other benefits in terms of longer lifespan, lower rates of alcoholism, depression and illness, and morerapid recovery after accidental injury.
Conflicting Chemicals
But there are conflicting chemicals at work in sexual relationships that sometimes prevent them from ever becoming long-term. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter in the limbic system – the brain’s primitive reward centre. It mediates both the sex drive and addiction to drugs. Brain scans have shown that the rapid rise in dopamine levels during orgasm is similar to that seen in a heroin high. But dopamine falls rapidly following orgasm in both males and females and is replaced with rising levels of a hormone called prolactin.
Both are part of the brain’s “dopaminergic” reward system.
At first, rising prolactin causes sleepy post-orgasm contentment. (Interestingly the amount of prolactin produced is far greater after sex with a partner than after masturbation. Thus there is little prolactin relief for those who masturbate.) But once this sleepy feeling of satiation has passed, prolactin may go on rising and cause problems for couples wanting to sustain a long-term sexual relationship. In both men and women excess levels of prolactin can cause loss of libido, anxiety, headaches, mood swings and depression. This is the vital time to practice keeping the lust alive.
It’s A Chemical Reaction
High prolactin is associated with sensations of despair. When the prolactin levels of newly caged wild monkeys were monitored, the hormone was seen to rise once the animals realised they were trapped. Levels of the hormone were much higher in monkeys incarcerated for months compared with wild animals that had only just been caged. Science has yet to determine how long prolactin continues to rise and remain high in humans after orgasm, so this is speculative, but in a relationship with lots of sex it could mean levels are elevated for weeks or even months.
How does all this tie in with your predilection for maturbation? There have been some illuminating studies of this behaviour in non-human primates. It has been found, for example, that male monkeys who masturbate tend to be of low status, whereas high-status male monkeys are likely only to experience ejaculation during sex. It also seems that the frequency of masturbation is higher in captive primates than in wild animals. You can make of this what you will.
The Reward Feeling
The dopaminergic system varies among humans, some people exhibiting more reward-seeking behaviour than others, and this may go some way towards explaining why many relationships are burnt out after a year. In reproductive terms, 12 months is long enough for fertilisation to take place. It is also certainly long enough for prolactin levels to rise. Once your libido flags and anxiety sets in, the short-term reward gained from masturbating may give you a dopamine “high” without risking bringing on that post-orgasmic prolactin “low”.
Chemical compatibility is essential to all good relationships. Couples lucky enough to enjoy long-term partnerships may have similar sex drives (perhaps not too much sex, or even none at all?) and dopaminergic systems that don’t flood their bodies with too much prolactin. Human behaviour seems to be under the control of two evolutionary programs: one that results in fertilisation, disillusionment and a series of partners, and the other that enables humans to develop the lasting relationships that lead to long, happy and healthy lives.
Keeping The Lust Alive: Here’s How:
- Stay Playful: Flirting doesn’t have to end once you are an official couple. The goal is to remind both of you what it’s like to have fun with each other. Sext each other, call each other pet names, tell each other jokes. Keeping the lust alive takes work, but it will be worth it.
- Listen to them: Listen closely to what they are saying. Look into their eyes and try to understand the way that they are feeling.
- Attention and Affection: Shower them with attention and affection. Make the day about them. Put them first. Ask what they would like to do. This will up their confidence and remind you how desirable they are. Give compliments.
- Explore different places together: Go on a road trip, or go hiking in a new area. Experiencing something for the first time as a couple is key and will help your relationship stay vibrant.
- Time Apart: If you do not feel sexy, it will be hard to rekindle your relationship. Go to the gym, or find a new hobby that will keep you active. Go out with your friends. Time apart makes the heart grow fonder.
Eye Spy Can Help!
If you feel that your lover is cheating, we can help. The Detroit Michigan Private Investigators at Eye Spy Detective Agency specialize in domestic cases. All cases are confidential. No one will know that you hired us, unless you tell them. Call Eye Spy Detective Agency today at 888-393-7799
